Options

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

I thank you that when everything seems awful and I pour my heart out to you, you draw me closer and I can grasp at a new option...

There's a place, on your lap, where I can cry and be totally accepted. And it seems that simultaneously you show me a better way.

I used to be sure that my tears were a great disappointment; surely they are evidence of the destruction I have walked into.
How can one be proven so unworthy and be given what is so undeserved all in the same moment? 

Although my state of destruction doesn't feel ready to leave it's sorrow I can choose you.
And say "yes" to you.
And you miraculously lead me into that better way.

I don't even notice where my despair has gone but it's not the same anymore.
Without my understanding you have taken me simply one step closer to you, to freedom from destruction.

I was JUST in a place that I would've sworn I was never going to get through, or be able to move on from... 

...except I didn't swear to that...
...I felt it, but chose you.
...I couldn't fathom it, but decided to said "yes" to you.

And surer than the sun rising and setting each day, you brought me into your better place for me.

Now that you've done it I recognize it; you've done this before.
There was a time I only read about this but was totally blind to it's realness.
I don't remember how it happened the first time for me, but now that you've done it again I see you more clearly in all of it, from start to finish...
...you are the author.

 May I continue to flow in this more and more and see you more clearly each time.
What a beautiful option.